The Coyotoes don't think we are funny

Thankfully we know our limits; 40 units a week is way too many units. 21 units sounds about right.  I would ask Jess what she thinks but she's just going to shrug her shoulders and make that weird "eehhh" face, like she always does. If you, at home, are trying to cut down your units, try drinking white wine in between your reds. Technically speaking, you aren't really cutting down units but it will freshen you up and it's kinda like drinking water. Speaking of water, Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. Especially if you are drinking after a work out or better yet drinking while working out. Who does that? you ask. You'd be surprised how many sauced up Jane Fonda's are hiding under that casual corporate wear.
In fact, we've got a few right here, acting like a bunch of coyotes, who, come to find out, also have girls night on Thursday nights.

The Soviet Union doesn't think we are funny

First there was the Twist, followed by the Electric Slide, then the Macarena. And now, make way for the hottest new dance craze...
The "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 windshield wipers" is here!
And as you know, a dance is not a dance without it's very own alcoholic beverage.
This dance requires a vodka blueberry or a "sports drink" where Kristin's from.
Now if you are new to this county and don't speak a lot of English, you are most likely Latina. In the off chance that you are German, stop being miserable and go get drunk at the nearest night club. But what if you don't want to drink? What if you are lame? What if your version of fun is the Soviet Union in 1987? Well have no fear, very soon we may have a mix that is right up your alley, as soon as we can get Kristin an assistant.
See folks, there is something for everyone in this world: those that feel alienated from New York, those celebrating closure, and those that date strange alcoholic gay dudes.
Because when you get right down to it, don't we all really just want the same thing?
Don't we all want to hear the Nightingales sing?

Tracy Anderson doesn't think we are funny

We try to work out. We try to stay in shape. Sometimes some of us (not naming names) will even buy into the fad workout that Gweneth Paltrow does. Sorry Tracy, You are a gnome faced fad. There I said it.
Sure, we worked up a sweat. But what the hell were we doing? I am not even a man and I felt emasculated. What you call metamorphosis, I call bad dancing, painful knees, and a sore neck.
However, we did learn that a weird ass work out does take girls night down a notch.
A time to reflect. Drink some water. Watch some old videos. Drink some water. Talk about the LCD pictures for the twelve time. Talk about getting water to Africa. Do nothing about it. Drink some more water. Happen upon photos from days past. And those photos...they are just as funny today.

Birds don't think we are funny

We think we are really funny; bend over laughing, pee in your pants a little, if anyone finds out, they will probably want us to write for Conan funny.
But the birds don't think we are funny.
They think our Mary Poppins asses are loud and annoying. They think that we are overly nostalgic about shit that has never even happened. They think that calling a palm tree a fern is not even a little bit funny.

But we don't let that stop us. We'll just go inside where there are no birds, where nobody judges us, where we can dance and do sit ups freely. After all, the most important thing is friendship and that we are all together. What? You want to hang out Tomorrow?
Tomorrow I'm busy.